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I tried to make my chest seem bigger, deepened my voice and swigged my sh***y beer like I was in a square state.Alas, despite my greatest efforts, I was not a very convincing top.That's how I imagine this gentleman felt, except that instead of being the smartest man in the room, he was the best-looking.This was only heightened by the fact that most of the men at the event were, as I said, aggressively average -- like, community-college average. Most of the men were hilarious -- unintentionally, that is.

It was like a nightmarish game of dodgeball that would air on LOGO.The event, which was held in the confines of a cavernous bar downtown, had a surprisingly large turnout. " I looked at my name tag, which was peeling off already, as if it knew that the "T" written on it was all some horrible lie. That, and never buy knives from that dude from high school.I happened to be one of the first guys to register with the organizer, and I took the opportunity to grab a beer and watch the men herd into line to register like cattle to the slaughter. " the organizer asked one man, who responded with a nervous chuckle. To be blunt, most of the men on either side (including me) were average-looking -- sometimes aggressively so.I might have had better luck convincing them I was a a very lost and confused lesbian. I was bottoming out after talking to guy after guy for .My voice was so hoarse that it was one broken leg away from a glue factory, and my personality had a heavy case of whiskey d**k.

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